Matt Wolf's HBO documentary Pee-wee as Himself explores the triumphs and trials of Paul Reubens, the actor-writer best known for his absurdist character Pee-wee Herman. There are too many revealing scenes to mention, but one casual, offhand moment—his phone alarm going off, prompting him to send some birthday texts—shines a light on Reubens the friend. "Today is a heavy birthday day because I have 12 birthdays today, including my eye doctor," he says with a sly grin. "I send a birthday GIF all day to people about every two or three hours, from sun up to sundown, from the time I get up."
This was a totally normal occurrence, as Conan O'Brien documented on his podcast in 2023. Processing the "devastating news" that Reuben had died at age 70 due to respiratory failure, the comedian reflected on those beloved birthday messages—and how they exemplified his warm, playful spirit.
@streamonmax You're welcome. #PeeweeAsHimself #PeeweeHerman #PaulReubens
"If he knew [someone] even slightly, he would fill their inbox that day with all these silly cartoons and memes about 'birthday'—old Disney cartoons, old weird memes about 'birthday,' cats falling into birthday cakes," O'Brien said. "He would do it all day long. It wasn't just me. It was anybody that he encountered he would do this for...We all just want to feel seen or recognized, and for someone like Paul to do that for so many people was just a gorgeous statement of who he was."
The former Late Night host also talked about one particularly special birthday gift: a video greeting that he received from Reubens one year prior. It was around six minutes long, "really funny," and "incredibly sweet," and it wound up buried on his computer. After Reubens' death, the admittedly un-tech-savvy O'Brien was rummaging around his hard drive, looking for a file sent by his online guitar teacher—and in a "surreal and magical" coincidence, he stumbled upon that old birthday salute.
- YouTubewww.youtube.com
"I remember this message because I loved it so much and saved it," he said. "But I'd forgotten. It's just him talking to me and telling me—in a way, it felt like he was saying goodbye because it was him saying how much he values our friendship. I'm not gonna get into details about it, but I was just stunned...He went out of his way to tell people what they meant to him. He went out of his way to be sweet and kind...I'm sure he did that for a lot of people, and it made me realize, 'What a generous thing to do.' This was just a year ago, so he knows he's not well. To do that, to extend yourself like that, is such a gift because we lose people and have no idea...This was a nice thing he did. It sounds crazy, but it made me feel so much better. He just showed up on my computer magically and had this nice conversation with me."
As tributes flooded social media following Reubens' passing, many other celebrities shared fond memories of his uniquely personalized birthday messages. "Paul Reubens was like no one else—a brilliant and original comedian who made kids and their parents laugh at the same time," Jimmy Kimmel tweeted. "He never forgot a birthday and shared his genuine delight for silliness with everyone he met. My family and I will miss him."
Modern Family actor Eric Stonestreet posted the final birthday video Reubens sent him. "I hope your birthday today is beautiful and perfect," the actor says in the clip. "But I hope it's the first day of an amazing, wonderful new year for you that's going to bring you kindness, joy, love, happiness, health, wealth, luck, and beauty—and more than all those things, laughter and fun."
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21 products that are gaslighting us into thinking they’re essential when they’re not
Some things in life are actually necessary—clean water, decent healthcare, basic human decency. But then there are the things that feel like they’re gaslighting us. The things we’re told we can’t live without, even though we survived just fine before they existed. Things like "smart" fridges, lawn fertilizer services, and yes—whole body deodorant.
Recently, our sister-site Upworthy asked their Facebook audience the question: What's a product or service that feels like it's gaslighting all of us into thinking it's necessary? More than 8,000 responses poured in. The answers were passionate, funny, and surprisingly unified.
Here are 21 products, services, and systems people called out for pretending to be essential—when they might actually be optional, overpriced, or flat-out invented.
1. Whole body deodorant
"Take a shower," said Shannon H.
“How did we ever manage all those years without it!! 😂😵💫” added Karen R.
Others noted it may help people with medical conditions—but for the average person, it's definitely a marketing creation.
2. Health insurance
It topped the list. Erica L. explained: “My doctor prescribes, the pharmacist issues meds, nurses care for people, surgeons do surgery—Health Insurance stands between health care and patients and says no, exclusively on whether they think it’s financially effective to treat you.”
Important note: Health insurance can provide life-saving access for many—but what people are frustrated by here is the profit-first system, not care itself.
3. The wedding industry
Multiple people slammed the high cost of modern weddings.
JoElla B. put it plainly: “We spend too much time and money planning one day, and not enough thought on how to blend two lives in a mutually beneficial one.”
Others called out expensive dresses, venues, and pressure to perform for social media.
4. Bottled water
Carole D. said: “Water in plastic bottles! Get a cup!”
While bottled water has value in emergencies, it’s often just filtered tap water—sold for profit in plastic.
5. Baby product overload
“Most baby products,” wrote Kelli O. “They really aren’t as needy and complicated as companies want us to think.”
6. Fabric softener
“It’s bad for clothes, bad for the Earth, bad for the wallet, and totally unnecessary,” said Gail H.
Some experts agree—many softeners contain chemicals that can reduce fabric lifespan and irritate skin.
7. Smart appliances
“Adding ‘phone controls’ to every appliance instead of making them last as long as they used to,” wrote Sherry S.
When your fridge needs a software update, something’s gone off the rails.
8. Makeup and anti-aging products
“Anything anti-aging,” said Melissa T., “Please just let me age into the gargoyle I was meant to become.”
Others questioned products designed to “fix” eyelashes, eyebrows, pores, and graying hair.
April S. added, “Products that women are convinced they MUST have in order to be ‘beautiful’ and therefore ‘loved.’”
9. Cosmetic surgery
Ron P. called out the industry as a whole. And while body autonomy matters, many commenters questioned whether insecurities are being commodified and sold back to us.
10. Ticketmaster and “convenience fees”
“Let’s go back to waiting in line at a record store,” wrote Nicole C.
Zaida B. added: “Convenience fee for online purchases—then charging $10 more at the actual event.”
11. Engagement rings
James P. didn’t mince words: “Engagement rings.”
The diamond industry has long been criticized for manufactured scarcity and marketing-fueled necessity.
12. Lawn chemicals and services
“Plant native grasses and you don’t have the pests or need for constant watering,” wrote Jamie B.
Environmental groups have raised similar concerns over runoff and unnecessary pesticide use.
13. AI and generative tech
“This stuff squeezes the lifeblood and individuality out of the human experience,” said Teresa L.
Saskia D. and others echoed skepticism about its necessity, even as many of us are being pushed to use it.
14. Funeral services
Amy W. shared: “My parents both have already paid to have themselves cremated and are very adamant that they do not want anything big done for them. In their words, ‘I won’t care, I’m dead.’”
Of course, some families find comfort in tradition—but the cost and pressure can feel overwhelming and predatory.
15. Rinse and repeat
Amy D. nailed it: “It’s just to sell more. Not even sure you need it at all.”
16. Credit Card Surcharges
Shawn S. took aim at the extra fees popping up at checkout: “That is the cost of doing business and shouldn’t be the burden of the purchaser.”
Many questioned why customers are increasingly being asked to pay extra simply for the convenience of using a card.
17. Constant phone upgrades
“Apple are notorious for releasing the same shit every year,” said Steph S.
Diana H. added, “Needing to upgrade our phones so frequently.”
Built-in obsolescence and marketing cycles drive most of the demand.
18. Vitamins and supplements
“If I took every supplement they say I NEED I wouldn’t need food. Nor could I afford it,” said Tausha L.
19. Fake pockets on women’s pants
Jessica W. said, “I have to buy men’s pants for work because women’s pants would just get torn up too fast!”
Form over function, and then they charge more for it.
20. Disposable everything
“The ‘convenience’ of disposable everything,” said Rick R.
It’s killing the planet—and draining wallets.
21. Tipping
“I’m sick of supplementing for corporations that refuse to pay a living wage,” wrote Susan V.
Tipping culture has evolved into something far removed from its original intent, and for many, it now feels like a burden shifted onto the customer.
The bigger picture
People aren’t saying all these things should vanish tomorrow. But when we start seeing convenience sold as necessity, and insecurity turned into billion-dollar markets, it's worth asking: who benefits from all of this?
And more importantly—who pays?
This article originally appeared earlier this year.