When we're dating or thinking about starting a relationship, we often look out for subtle cues that speak volumes about a person's character. From good communication skills and a positive outlook to healthy boundaries, some noteworthy traits make a person likable instantly. These traits, also called "green flags," top the list when one is looking for a suitable partner to live their life with. In a Reddit post, u/SealeDrop asked other men on the platform, "What are the biggest green flags in a girl?" Many flocked to the comments section to share what they find the most impressive in a girl that makes them feel she's a keeper. Here are 10 of the best responses.
1. Showing kindness without expecting anything in return
Kindness is underrated. Canva
"Commenting as someone who recently found an amazing person after a long time of not being treated well. When they do nice things for you, it’s an investment in the shared happiness of the relationship and not self-serving and it isn’t with the intent of expecting something in return." -u/JoeyMaddox "I’m trying to navigate healthy relationships after a lifetime of traumatic ones and this is 'give and take’. Feeling safe and quelling the suspicions in the acceptance of someone else’s gestures." -u/Jokers_friend
2. Creativity
It takes a creative mind to keep things interestings. Canva
"Creativity. The way she expresses and contributes to a conversation - smoothly shaking up the topic, creating things, describing concepts and feelings that most people have trouble expressing, etc. It is a form of intelligence I deeply appreciate." -u/RedShadowF95 "What a great way to explain it. It’s crushing being that type of woman and meeting a potential partner who doesn’t enjoy it." -u/Ok_Emergency455
3. Someone who listens with interest
Listening isn't just waiting for your turn to talk. Canva
"Asking a lot of questions about me, and listening to what I have to say. Going off of that, remembering said details in the future. One thing that shocked me about dating when I was younger was how infrequently women would ask me about myself, what I do, and what makes me happy. Some of them would ask but wouldn't remember. And then the same people ask you 'Why don't you tell me anything or share with me.' There is nothing to share when it's not being received. It was like I was expected to just 'be there' along for the ride with her." -u/jayhitter
4. Being independent
Being independent is a great way of staying together. Canva
"Independence. She doesn't require you to be around her to escort her to everything she does. She has her own hobbies and interests but is happy to share them but never pushes them onto you." -u/The_Sum. "Sure, when you're with someone the point is to enjoy doing things together and spending time together. But my ex literally wouldn't hang with any of her friends, go shopping, or do anything without me right by her side. At first, it seemed cool and then it was just suffocating." -u/Krajee1
5. Being strong and mature
Don't underestimate the importance of being an actual adult. Canva
"But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to appreciate strong women who are able to ultimately stand on their own first and foremost. At this age, we’ve all had our share of bad adult breakups, emotional pain, and traumas. It’s all about whether you’re able to still stand up and fight at the end of the day. Even if it’s little by little." -u/scsnse "100% agree. If you want your marriage to be a partnership, it has to be with another adult." -u/HarrysonTubman
6. Cooking
Cooking is a green flag for sure. Canva
"It may sound sexist, but cooking. It means she has accepted responsibility for being an adult. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Something as simple as chicken and vegetables. If a woman is living on their own and doesn't have a job that requires crazy hours some basic cooking skills. Goes for men too. Pro tip. If you're a guy who cooks something besides a hamburger on a grill it will definitely impress a lady." -u/QuantityDelicious
7. Being an empath
Find yourself an empath. Canva
"If you see her caring about how others are doing, worried about the well-being of animals and concerned someone is left out or feels down...you know she's going to be a great partner." -u/Fritzo2162 "I usually get won over by a big heart. So, if I hear she’s volunteering at an animal shelter or something, that’s when I know something’s right." -u/magicmulder When they are concerned about your hunger, in a loving way. Always make sure that you eat." -u/kind_user47
8. Good communication skills
There's a difference between talking and communicating. Canva
"They are easily confused, but communicating is so much more than conversing. Anymore, half the time my husband and I are communicating very important things in public, we tend to use faces and gestures we've accidentally built into a language. But learning to communicate emotions and expectations can be incredibly difficult. If we hadn't learned to have the hard convos openly, we wouldn't have known how much space to give each other for processing big things, how each other likes to be supported even when we need those 'quiet' moments." -u /ScarieltheMudmaid
9. Honesty is the best policy
If you only tell the truth you don't have to remember what you said.Canva
"Open and honest communication. She doesn't act huffy, play games, or do things like the silent treatment. If she has a problem, she brings it up and lays it out plain, and then is open to discussing it and getting the other person's perspective. And part of this is being willing to change her mind when it's discussed. Admittedly, this is more of a general struggle for people and not just with hypothetical girlfriends. But it's something that I value more than a brick of solid gold." -u/Jirekianu
10. Acceptance is key
It's important to accept people for who they are. Canva
"I think the biggest green flag is when you get to something you are self-conscious/embarrassed about and she says that she is OK with it. To me, a keeper is someone who will love and appreciate who you are, even if you have trouble accepting every part of who you are." -u/theshizirl
These green flags reveal what many people quietly hope for in a partner: kindness, emotional maturity, good communication, and a strong sense of self. While everyone has different preferences, these shared values highlight the universal desire for genuine connection, respect, and mutual support. Spotting these signs early can make all the difference in building a relationship that’s not just exciting, but enduring.
This article originally appeared last year.
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21 products that are gaslighting us into thinking they’re essential when they’re not
Some things in life are actually necessary—clean water, decent healthcare, basic human decency. But then there are the things that feel like they’re gaslighting us. The things we’re told we can’t live without, even though we survived just fine before they existed. Things like "smart" fridges, lawn fertilizer services, and yes—whole body deodorant.
Recently, our sister-site Upworthy asked their Facebook audience the question: What's a product or service that feels like it's gaslighting all of us into thinking it's necessary? More than 8,000 responses poured in. The answers were passionate, funny, and surprisingly unified.
Here are 21 products, services, and systems people called out for pretending to be essential—when they might actually be optional, overpriced, or flat-out invented.
1. Whole body deodorant
"Take a shower," said Shannon H.
“How did we ever manage all those years without it!! 😂😵💫” added Karen R.
Others noted it may help people with medical conditions—but for the average person, it's definitely a marketing creation.
2. Health insurance
It topped the list. Erica L. explained: “My doctor prescribes, the pharmacist issues meds, nurses care for people, surgeons do surgery—Health Insurance stands between health care and patients and says no, exclusively on whether they think it’s financially effective to treat you.”
Important note: Health insurance can provide life-saving access for many—but what people are frustrated by here is the profit-first system, not care itself.
3. The wedding industry
Multiple people slammed the high cost of modern weddings.
JoElla B. put it plainly: “We spend too much time and money planning one day, and not enough thought on how to blend two lives in a mutually beneficial one.”
Others called out expensive dresses, venues, and pressure to perform for social media.
4. Bottled water
Carole D. said: “Water in plastic bottles! Get a cup!”
While bottled water has value in emergencies, it’s often just filtered tap water—sold for profit in plastic.
5. Baby product overload
“Most baby products,” wrote Kelli O. “They really aren’t as needy and complicated as companies want us to think.”
6. Fabric softener
“It’s bad for clothes, bad for the Earth, bad for the wallet, and totally unnecessary,” said Gail H.
Some experts agree—many softeners contain chemicals that can reduce fabric lifespan and irritate skin.
7. Smart appliances
“Adding ‘phone controls’ to every appliance instead of making them last as long as they used to,” wrote Sherry S.
When your fridge needs a software update, something’s gone off the rails.
8. Makeup and anti-aging products
“Anything anti-aging,” said Melissa T., “Please just let me age into the gargoyle I was meant to become.”
Others questioned products designed to “fix” eyelashes, eyebrows, pores, and graying hair.
April S. added, “Products that women are convinced they MUST have in order to be ‘beautiful’ and therefore ‘loved.’”
9. Cosmetic surgery
Ron P. called out the industry as a whole. And while body autonomy matters, many commenters questioned whether insecurities are being commodified and sold back to us.
10. Ticketmaster and “convenience fees”
“Let’s go back to waiting in line at a record store,” wrote Nicole C.
Zaida B. added: “Convenience fee for online purchases—then charging $10 more at the actual event.”
11. Engagement rings
James P. didn’t mince words: “Engagement rings.”
The diamond industry has long been criticized for manufactured scarcity and marketing-fueled necessity.
12. Lawn chemicals and services
“Plant native grasses and you don’t have the pests or need for constant watering,” wrote Jamie B.
Environmental groups have raised similar concerns over runoff and unnecessary pesticide use.
13. AI and generative tech
“This stuff squeezes the lifeblood and individuality out of the human experience,” said Teresa L.
Saskia D. and others echoed skepticism about its necessity, even as many of us are being pushed to use it.
14. Funeral services
Amy W. shared: “My parents both have already paid to have themselves cremated and are very adamant that they do not want anything big done for them. In their words, ‘I won’t care, I’m dead.’”
Of course, some families find comfort in tradition—but the cost and pressure can feel overwhelming and predatory.
15. Rinse and repeat
Amy D. nailed it: “It’s just to sell more. Not even sure you need it at all.”
16. Credit Card Surcharges
Shawn S. took aim at the extra fees popping up at checkout: “That is the cost of doing business and shouldn’t be the burden of the purchaser.”
Many questioned why customers are increasingly being asked to pay extra simply for the convenience of using a card.
17. Constant phone upgrades
“Apple are notorious for releasing the same shit every year,” said Steph S.
Diana H. added, “Needing to upgrade our phones so frequently.”
Built-in obsolescence and marketing cycles drive most of the demand.
18. Vitamins and supplements
“If I took every supplement they say I NEED I wouldn’t need food. Nor could I afford it,” said Tausha L.
19. Fake pockets on women’s pants
Jessica W. said, “I have to buy men’s pants for work because women’s pants would just get torn up too fast!”
Form over function, and then they charge more for it.
20. Disposable everything
“The ‘convenience’ of disposable everything,” said Rick R.
It’s killing the planet—and draining wallets.
21. Tipping
“I’m sick of supplementing for corporations that refuse to pay a living wage,” wrote Susan V.
Tipping culture has evolved into something far removed from its original intent, and for many, it now feels like a burden shifted onto the customer.
The bigger picture
People aren’t saying all these things should vanish tomorrow. But when we start seeing convenience sold as necessity, and insecurity turned into billion-dollar markets, it's worth asking: who benefits from all of this?
And more importantly—who pays?
This article originally appeared earlier this year.